hi guys!

shifted to http://chemistrylove.wordpress.com

i haven't blog in ages! thats about a month. the main distractions being school[what's new?], guides[of course] and drama series[hahah.guilty of online late night watching]. oh yes, and RESTING! since this month is the guides off peak season.

after that, november and december will be crazy-as usual.

but for now, its project rush time and since i am not working with my usual group, it takes some getting used to. mainly cos of communication and language barriers. Accounting shouldn't be a problem, since its isn't soo hard. American government is the hard one. what's with the presentation and difficulty of compiling all the essays together to make it blend.

i think that defending the things that i love is getting harder and harder. people keep on trying to interfere. and yes, i am pissed off. cos i don't touch their territories, so i don't see why they are hell bent on touching mine. why they can't do their own thing and i do mine is mind boggling. i don't care what they do, as long as they don't touch my territory, it will be good enough.

but it seems that i am paying the price for playing the good guy when i was a kid[aka in secondary school] cos now i am ALWAYS playing the bad guy. the strict, evil almost-angeline-like leader.

and i discussed it over the weekend with some friends, its the case of "culture shock", in more ways than one. and we are all learning how to handle the situation on the job. the simple reason being that we were never taught that way and there wasn't a time when 1 was answered back with 2,3,4,5 and 6. because 1 was 1. period.

for those selected few who know what am i talking about, i need a solution, mate.

and kamini, shiyama and xinyi, you 3 contacted me all at the same time!LOL. need more dinners and talk. also...food expeditions? beside those 3, i miss the dreamers, the chocolateiers and the 5G'07-ers. THAT never gets old. and that's alot of people. also, it's a really strange feeling seeing the boys/guys being soo mature. i wonder if the aliens abducted them and replace them with matured boys who don't stink the classroom up and are very muscular :D

"the word that appear most in love letters is not "love" but "miss"
-the leap years

today was pretty good, passed BTT trial.like FINALLY! so BTT will be on the 25th :) and i wanna pass it on my first try so i hope i won't forget the absurb questions that they will ask by then. anw, my sister will get her's first since she already passed btt.

and while waiting to take my btt trial, i saw the last person i expected to see on earth....

CCW!

and he was wearing a hot pink t-shirt.hahaha. when i saw him, i though it was some kind of a joke. also, that guy had already gotten his driver's license, so if you wanna hitch a ride, you know who to look for.lol. but still, why him, and there, out of all places? he also haven't changed all that much in terms of appearence in the last 3 years. so, if you wanna bump into people you know, go to bishan and/or ssdc. the chances are almost 100%.

there is COH tmr then will be staying over at angeline's house.i hope COH will go well tmr and i will be able to slack at home in the afternoon then go over to angeline's place at night. haha. so now we are even, since she stayed over at my place before and its my turn to stay over at her's.hahahaha. sunday will be spent helping out in a marathon then sleeping it off the rest of the day.

saturdays without the chocolateiers aren't really that fun anymore...

memories do strange things to you.
when you hate the present time, date, year, somehow, a happy memory get you through that day so it helps.
but enough about memories, even though the best ones makes us laugh out of the blue, and for others, to be relish silently.

school had been hectic, whats with the complicated/abstract subjects.
guides with its usual share of drama, something i had grown used to. so talking about it is pretty useless.

and i think hanging out with the usual YA people, hawa, shiks, angeline, wendy and val will keep my mind off things. and in an ideal situation, avoid the rest of the world. which will never happen. been having a "i-don't-really-care-what-you-do" attitude these past few days and going into hiberation seem like a good idea. with only me and my books.

there is a whole lot of people whom i think need to rebuild trust, but i jz don't feel like doing it right now. if i need to act all chatty etc, so be it. the "deep, meaningful talk" can be done whenever. doesn't sound all different from a survivor game, does it?

and talking to miao, yingjie and gatsby boy now doesn't sound like a bad idea. if only they weren't having exams now...

Relishing the last few moments-or days before school starts.

1. HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY DA!

2. why do i feel happy going back to school? i think i will most probably start falling asleep in class, say, after the first week. i think its the distraction of having something to do to keep my imagination from running wild-as usual.

3. didn't know i was outgoing.HAHA. may i ask, since when? one of the survival skills i adapted after meeting soo many new people in a space of 2 years?its anyone's guess :)

4. you know something is wrong when you talk to each other through facebook. where is the good old days of meeting up,people? yes, i need to see faces and hear voices. and i am old-fashioned like that.

5. i miss camping. december will statisfy my appetite with camp challenge(5 glorious days!) and inter-unit camp(4 days!) then Japan(10 winter days!).

6. when i keep the lock and throw away the keys, it just goes to show how stubborn i can be. and..."out of sight, out of mind".

7. really looking forward to american government and law, not soo much to accounting aka POA. 3 subjects this semester! then stupid, idiotic calculus next term. i soo need help for calulus. SOS.

8. did i mention that learning how to drive is insanely expensive? even though it can benefit me for the rest of my life, but for now....BTT,FTT and practical lessons and test...will test my guts. i want to get my license before march next year though.

9. good morning everyone. sleep well, ya?

PROJECT LINKING MINDS IS O-V-E-R!!!!!

actually, don't know whether to be sad or happy about it.
could have done alot of things better though, like facilitation sessions and the pace that the kids went through.
learnt alot from kelvin, lester and andreas [HAHA.naturally]. And May and Xueying during the camp.
so from now on, i will learn to be more observant :) and if there is time, maybe i will try out to be a ycm panelist[which should be pretty cool].

but....
its not over yet.

there is still project closure report to do.

now i know by what people mean by burying something deep inside your heart.
yes, there is an elephant in the room but i refuse to acknowledge it.
cos if i do, it will be like travelling back in time to jan/feb/march '06. and i learnt my lesson then, thank you very much.
and with the people involved, i am also an elephant in their rooms, a taboo topic.
but one day, it will be like a volcano waiting to erupt. you can't help but acknowledge it.
what a superficial world.
"your closest friend can also be your worst enemy", that's when you see a cup half empty i guess, but in some situations, this may ring true...
and of course this involves an emotive word, "trust". how many people in this world do you really trust with your life? can it be counted on 1 or 2 hands?

help, always seem to come from the most unexpected people.
i don't know, i guess, thats the reason why i like people at their raw form.
cos its genuine. and you can finally let your guard down.
but these people, are very rare in the world.
and people nowsadays, find a shock when you treat them very well.haha.
because they want to know the underlying reasons or motives for your actions.
for me, if i do, it will be simply, "just because...". :)

at the end of the day, i jz have to do things for the right reasons...and to follow my heart.

the word that i am most afraid of is "regret".
of not doing more, for not caring more and for not expressing myself more.
as a person, i can't really talk very well, so i will usually write letters to express myself.

during the 07 GGS carnival, the food and stalls don't stand out in my memory. what i clearly remember though, was andreas, me and addie joking about the 4am rain while they visited the stall. since it was right after the expedition, we were all still pretty close.
what i've always regretted about the expedition is not having a chance to say "thank you" properly. to my team mates and as well as my ELs. this may the the reason why they are always lingering in my mind. because they've done soo much and i couldn't give back. but everytime i see them, i can't get the word out of my mouth, it's either i will become speechless or i will end up crapping.

hopefully, another journey will impact me like they have.