I think “it” died today and reviving “it” again..difficult.

She told me today it would be a one off thing,
I didn’t want to believe her,
Only when I witness it do I realize
I should have listened
But I didn’t want to believe that it would that fragile,
To die in a space of 2 weeks,
of what we built in 4 months.
Naïve me.

Can you prove me wrong?
Avoiding it would be easier but I guess I would need to confront it next week, whether I like it or not.

p.s. its not friendship...it's something else...something that i can't put my finger on.hence..it! =D

On the lighter note,
We still need to suan zhang!!!!

Speech day 2007 had been a roaring success!! We finally did the parade again. XD. I can also say I’ve come a full circle cos I did parade for my first and last speech day. So, it’s memorable la, in a way. Both were also in campus 1, but, my first speech day, which I did in sec 2, was in the old campus 1 and at that time(god! I sound soo old!!) you can tell speech day is drawing nearer by the amount of students running over to campus 1 every week for rehearsals. And at that time, Guides was the GOH (can’t believe, can you? but I saw it with my own eyes! =D) and our contingent was super big( and it was only from sec 2-5!) that we had enough people to a supporting contingent too. The sec 3s and 4s were the GOH and my batch was the supporting contingent along with some sec 3s I think. That year was also significant cos we also won the Puan Noor Aisha GOLD award. Thinking back, I feel lucky that I joined Guides when it was at its peak and got to see and do stuff that my juniors will never do. The old campus 1 lies the heart and soul of it all. All the Saturday s meetings (from 9-1pm, see, I still remember! XD), The ghostly D&T block(shudders!),outdoor cooking(during meetings, mind you!) and games day. If only we had our meetings on Saturday s, we could have achieved soo much more. Okay, back to speech day today, the performances were wonderful and the precision drill was surprising good but they missed one annual item this year, the TKD performance which had been going on since as long as I can remember.

The highlight of it all, was of course, the food! =D This year was the first year in my entire 4 years doing speech day that our only duty was to clean up the hall. In other words, we need not serve anyone at the reception*grin*.hehe. Instead, we had our own reception upstairs and in turn the peer leaders were serving us. The food was good, really good! They had Indian mee goreng, seafood fried rice, tau suan with yutiao, chin chao, sushi, nuggets, kuah, teh terik and icey orange mix. The food was soo divine till a few of us went back for a second helping of tau suan. I was sitting with Jiayi, Amy, Mel, Cheryl, Seow Hwee, Joanna and Adeline Tan and we were joking around like crazy. About how the school should act poor and then we gave all sorts of examples. It was 3D lame.haha.But at the hall, I realize, the juniors should really take more initiative in dragging the chairs back to their place. Not just stand there and do the “eye power” thing on us.

St.gabs campfire and the MFGG Alumni Dinner tomorrow!! I can’t wait!!!! Which means …………… !!

ROD will be on next Friday.
DREAMS 5 meeting will be on next Saturday!
Which reminds me, it was very nice mentioning dreams 5 in the speech but it was 9 days and not 10 days la!

There are words which I need not say but you know what I mean.

Today’s dialogue session sucks. WE were SUPPOSE to TALK about DREAMS 5 but we ended up listening more and getting grilled for irrelevant things like the donation cards and all that crap la. You know, we barely even touched the tip of the iceberg. And we missed our recess for all these. She missed the point of the session I think. I think if we had the chance and the right atmosphere with her, the stories would have come out, naturally. But it’s her loss and not ours. I just hope she would make it open to everyone, not make it UG exclusive that kinda thing you know? Having some non-UG people is like a breath of fresh air and they bring surprises.Besides, that’s the whole point, bringing a group of people from all walks of life and making them work together. Okay, I think I am gonna to get in trouble if I write anymore la. But, it was nice at the end cos we got to eat recess together. I miss all that crapping. Okay. I’ve got to stop. And I think if I talk anymore about Dreams, people will start going after me cos the stories….are…frankly….never ending. Please, if anyone has the chance to go to Dreams 6, just go for it, don’t care whether your friends are going or not. And you will know the reasons why I type about it day after day, both in this blog and in the dreams 5 blog.

Going to MF Girl Guides alumni reunion dinner (sounds fancy?hah!) in AMK Hub, we are going to meet at Fish&Co to eat dinner. I am tempted to wear the dreams 5 tee!! But see if Andreas wearing hers a not, if not, it would be the white guides camp tee bah. Then we will be off to St.gabs campfire where Addie, Lianyi and I would suan zhang with Andreas.muhaha. You have been warned! Anyway, it would be damn fun la. I just talk to Andreas on the phone for over an hour just now, and the stories still haven’t finished yet.And I wanna see that video!! I can’t wait!!!!

Speech day this Friday, at last! After that, NO MORE FULL U!! yay!! Or at least I hope so. Speech day=no school. At least for those who are not involved la. I want to get over and done with it! My LAST speech day! Yahoo!! The rehearsals had been tiring, worse than construction mind you, and quite a few people fainted during the last rehearsal cos of heat exhaustion (see fred? I still remember. =D). But NOBODY in Guides did. GIRL POWER XD. Juniors! JIAYOU!!

Your Passion is Pink!
You're the type of woman that would never get described as passionate...Oh but you can be passionate at times - you just don't let it show.Your passion most shows through in your sweet and optimistic attitude.And chances are, most people are very passionate about you!


You Are a Good Friend Because You're Loyal
You stick with your friends no matter what, even if you feel like they're doing the wrong thing.You believe in letting people figure out their own path in life. It's not your place to interfere.And part of your loyalty means that you'll do a lot for your friends. You definitely go the extra mile.You'll even do great things for friends without them asking. After all, that's what friendship is all about.You are truly a friend for life. And you have friends you've known since you were a kid.Your friends can count on you to do a favor, remember a birthday, or just be there to listen.Your friends need you most when: They can't turn to anyone elseYou really can't be friends with: Fickle people who change friends quicklyYour friendship quote: "Friendship doubles your joys, and divides your sorrows."


The Part of You That No One Sees
You are powerful, passionate, and dominant.You have a vision of how things should be, and you do your best to make things happen.People rely on you for your strength. You are a rock to many.Underneath it all, you aren't so sure about your passions.So many ideas spark your interest, it is hard for you to get behind a select few.However, you see indecision as a sign of weakness. So you pursue your goals full force - no matter how foolish they turn out to be.


Aries - Your Love Profile
Your positive traits:You're quite the charmer. You've got the wit and attitude to attract almost anyone you meet.Out spoken and honest, any date knows how they stand with you.Fearless, independent, and willing to try anything twice - your dates should expect the unexpected.Your negative traits:You tend to be vain, and you expect your partner to feed that vanity often with complements.Hot tempered and impulsive, you've occasionally ended things ... only to regret it later.You're obsessed with being the best, most loved girlfriend or boyfriend your sweetie's ever had.Your ideal partner:A risk taking, free spirit like yourself - who can keep up with your latest wild child antics.Someone stylish, attractive, and fit... who can keep you attracted for months.Is hard to get - and lets you pursue things. You prefer to be the chaser, not the one being chased.Your dating style:Wild, unpredictable, fun, and daring. Your ideal date may involve a couple motorcycles or naked skydiving.Your seduction style:Honest and direct - you have no need for romance or much foreplay.Show off. You like to show your lover how you're the best ever.Ambitious. You often like to go all night - or aim for multiple orgasms.Tips for the future:Start to believe in second and third chances. You don't have to dump them so fast.Savor the process. Sometimes the best part of falling in love is taking things in slow motion.Let go of comparisons. If someone's with you, then you've already one. Stop worrying about exes.Best color to attract mate: Red.Best day for a date: Tuesday

Call me insane. I am like super high these few days. And it’s the first days of school!! I must be nuts man. Anw, tomorrow, the 12 of us (hopefully, everyone can make it) will be having a dialogue session with the principal for dreams 5 tomorrow(27th la). God knows what will happen and what time will the session end. I am thinking along the lines of after my recess finish and hopefully, till school finishes? Haha. We will need to meet outside the General Office at 9:55am though, which means I get to skip English! Not that I don’t like it, I rather skip the next 2 periods after recess. We will be reunited though, that’s the good thing. Oh ya, do we need to do Hongdou for her again?? Not really possible but not impossible either. But what she will know will only be the tip of the iceberg, only the 19 of us will know the full story.

I think I’ve fallen in love with dreams 5. =D

Anyway, I’ve been thinking about this just now, while I was polishing my boots, what is passion, exactly? And how far are you willing to go to get that adrenaline rush going or get that sense of self-fulfillment? Yah, It’s connected to dreams 5, in a way. All of us (who are not in scouts) signed up without our friends by our side(at that time, when I asked my friend to accompany me, she looked at me as if I was crazy(which probably I was) )and signing up alone takes up a lot of guts cos its scary like hell la. Then there was the interview process (in which I got grilled the most.lol) which took more guts and confidence. We were tested for our patience, teamwork and efficiency for the next 3 months cos it was the planning phrase. We were forced to rake up new ideas and step into another person’s shoes in order to get things done and make new friends. That, I dunno la, cos it depends on how much effort you want to put in..haha. People think that we only go to PBP for 9 days and there is no work before or after that, that wishful thinking man! Oh ya, we forsake our social lives(okay, it wasn’t that bad) cos we had meetings every Saturday (if you guys remember) and even Team meeting the day before or something. So, in order to keep going for soo long, you are gonna to need passion, right? Oh, and we also had to get 3 injections and take anti-malaria pills, i guess whether we got through that successfully was also passion for dreams.That is the flame that will keep you going when you want to give up, the flame that keeps you awake at PIC even though all you want to do is to go into deep sleep, that’s the flame that make sure you put your best into everything you do and that’s the flame that open up your comfort zone in the first place.

OHANA means family
Family means nobody get left behind or forgotten.
-Lilo&Stitch
We were like that there and it touches my heart.

Okay, now it’s back to reality of studying and mugging!

I must force myself not to be nostalgic!! And frankly, its really hard,but essential.
Must I miss it but can’t show it?





Haha.don’t worry, I won’t be such a baddy and bored you guys to tears with the details of what happened each day in dreams 5. I wanna you guys to experience it for yourselves anyway =D.

All the chaoda(which I will get even more chaoda cos of speech day rehearsals), mosquitoes(thank god they hate me!),chickens and roosters clucking every day, getting only a few hours(5 mostly la)of sleep and carrying around that stupid luggage(which made me look like a fool) was worth it! I am missing dreams 5, terribly! First of all, I need to tell u all a very important detail, I brought along the wrong bag, the hand-carry kind and not the haversack kind ( hence, the looking like a fool part) but everyone was nice enough help me with my stuff la so, thanks guys!
This expedition, what can I say, inspire me to do things and look through the world with a different point of view. Cliché but true in lots of ways. The 12 of us barely know each other(other than bryan and adeline la)well and if it wasn’t for this expedition, we wouldn’t have known each other at all cos we all run in different social circles. Anyway, we were forced to survive and tolerate each other for the past 4 months from the planning to the execution. The friendships that we formed there were strange and to recreate them here will be nearly impossible cos we are all back to our group of friends. Not to say I wouldn’t want it to happen, I want but the environment doesn’t allow it.

I miss the Saturday meetings, the lame jokes(which if I were to tell you now, I will be wondering whether you really got it or not), the support, the kindness, the gossiping sessions late at night with the girls, the determination, the facilitation sessions( we had a few memorable ones),the surprises and passion that dreams 5 brought along with it. I would say construction had the best bonding sessions simply cos almost all our inside jokes were created there, teaching had the most to learn from and cooking was the competition part( to see whether we can prepare lunch on time; to prepare the most delicious dinner/lunch). All of these, priceless!

3 weeks till I can see them as the way I saw them in PBP.
1 day till campfire and jie’s bday.
2 days till GGS carnival.

And I really need a good rest and my holiday is poof! Gone up in a pile of smoke, productive but I need 1 day to be a slacker. Just 1.Then you can start killing me again.

I want the pictures and we need to organize a gathering soon, as soon as everyone is free.
Btw, andreas, adeline and lianyi, we still tight?

Dreams-part 5
Grab every opportunity that comes by
That’s what they say to us in life.
Regret comes with a price of guilt that we were not prepared to pay this time.
So we all did the crazy thing to grab hold of dreams, part 5.

Along the way,
We stumbled on rocks,
But there were always people to pick us up,
Guiding us till we recovers.
There was also a group of guardians,
Always watching our backs,
Making sure the road ahead was smooth enough,
But not making it too smooth either,
So that we could learnt life’s lessons well enough to remember for life.

Experience brings people together,
But memories of people can be forgotten,
Once the moment disappear.
Dreams is an unforgettable one,
Among the many moments,
There were blood, sweat, tears, jokes and laughter.
Surviving it was the main objective,
Gaining a gang of buddies was a reward.

Riau dreamers,
I want to hope that what we had with each other ,
wasn’t because we were desperate,
but because we really wanted to be friends,
I want to thank you guys,
For having my back covered.

<3 put.

I am back from camp.

Camp was super fun and tiring. PoSAIden WON!!!!! We got something like 139 points at the end of 2 days. I had the best breakfast-roti prata!! Dinner was the food we cooked ourselves.
Okay.Back to the beginning of the camp, on the first day of camp, we played a game called “I believe, I can and I will” or something like that. The main item was newspaper la. First, we had to choose which section we wanted. Then we had to collect the most newspaper from the middle. After that we had to make it like we had the most newspaper. Zeus won that section. After that we had to tear the newspaper into strips, as thin as possible and lay them out nicely. We won that section =D and took the strips from Lianyi’s patrol cos Lianyi’s patrol was split into half =D. Then we had to put all our strips of newspaper in the middle and by the time the music end, the group which collect the most strips won. Zeus won that challenge too. After that, we went to pitch our tents at the PDP area there, the girls’ tent very suai lor, the first tent that we pitched, it was spoilt and by the time we finished pitching the 2nd tent, the guys already finished. After that, we washed up and changed (to our sandals) and set off to sentosa =D.
At sentosa, we did our committee updates and the straw games (my patrol won that again) in which we had to build the tallest structure to hold an egg and a bridge structure which can hold 2 eggs out of straws. We won in both of them, Poisaiden rocks!!! After that was lunch, everyone was starving la, Zeus got ice-cold coke cos they won the game back at school but it was shared la. We went to the beach after that and played POWERBALL. The leaders won and we got first runner up. Haha, but I think it’s obvious that the leaders team (consisting of Andreas, Lionel, Lester and Frederick) will won la cos they are all bigger, taller and faster than us. Haha. After that, we had to build a human structure at the water there and the best part after the competition finish was that we threw Frederick into the water, followed by Andreas and lastly Lionel into the water.Haha…nice! We went back to school after that and did the conversational bahasa lesson and cooked dinner. Dinner was a busy affair, first we had to go to sheng siong to buy the ingredients that we needed. My patrol bought rice, light black sauce, 2 packet of chicken and a packet of Korean mushrooms. My group cooked the most delicious chicken and mushroom dish, very nice(in my opinion la), shall be cooking that again in dreams 5 and chicken with egg(really terrible, bad mistake) .After that was a series of lectures and some CTT stuff and bath time! Having only 4 girls has its advantages =D. we slept only at around 12:30+ after we moved the tents from the PDP area to the general office. Initially, we wanted to play truth or dare after lights out but we were too tired and decided to sleep instead.
The next morning, we (the girls) woke up early to play truth or dare but dovin(who planned it all) was dead asleep!! So, we woke up at 6:30am for nothing! We could have slept till 7:30 as we only had to report at 8am for PT. I had the funniest PT ever, for PT, got a leader who kicked into the ball into the air and we had to be the one to catch it. The person’s patrol which caught the ball only had to do 5 push-ups while the rest have to do 10. Then, we had to take off our socks and shoes and had to hop on 1 leg to a line and hop back, wear our socks and hop there and hop back and wear our shoes and hop there and back. I love the last part! We played “eagle catching the chicks”. Our patrol i/c was the eagle la and we are of course the chicks, my patrol won again! We (Frederick, Siong hui, Ying jie and me were the ultimate survivors).nice! After that was lectures again and CTT teaching, during one part, after we practiced our Hongdou dance, we played rock music and truth or dare! It was very funny but we didn’t manage to dig out any information la.We broke camp at around 5:45pm.

DREAMS 5 will be no doubt an experience I will remember
LOVE U GUYS.

Will be MIA-ing from next sat to the 17th cos DREAMS 5 will FINALLY be here on Saturday and I have a feeling that I will not be able to sleep on Friday. The only bad thing is that we have to report super early at 6:30am in school.*yawn*

time seems to pass by soo quickly but i am doing what i love and thats all the assurance that i need.

Will be off to Preparation camp from tomorrow(technically...its today)-sunday

BYE!!!!!