In the midst of the ocean, where’s the anchor?
The strong anchor, after years of facing the adversity, has disappeared.

The conflict of experience had arise, beneath the surface, aren’t we all the same?
Our souls need to be nurtured, cared and loved for. And if you give a person enough time, they will impress you.

I read this story, from “chicken soup for the soul: celebrating people who make a difference” and her experience is almost similar to mine. And a few lines that is striking similar in our experiences, like “my work crew begin the construction as strangers, and we hammered the last nails as close friends.” And she made me realize that the blueprint of our then-badminton court wasn’t the main thing, but the emotions behind it are. After the St.Gabs campfire, they come to my mind pretty often, with the story playing the catalyst.

So, armed with full body armour and playing it “cool”, I am ready to face this world.
Because this time, it will be a lot harder to peel them off.

But why do this “acting strong” thing feel so fake this time round?

DREAMS 6, I need you to perform your miracle again, that is, if I ever get to go.
I need to know which direction to go to and what to do.
And I’m not even sure that I fall into “strong” category.

ADDIE
HAPPY SEVENTEEN BIRTHDAY!

the girl whom I only got to know last year(as a friend) but boy, did she leave a deep impression. her dao exterior fools people but she's really a kind person inside. her sarcasm is funny man. lameshit is like 1 of her favourite words la. she is the kind of person who wouldn't show she cares, but she really does. she made my dreams5 journey awesome and fun, i couldn't have gone through it without you man. still remember the milo peng and everything else,ms addie? you better keep your words from last year.lol. this girl is also like me, but she's trilingual, fluent in all 3 languages, which i am, of course, very envious of.haha.

I don't think she's gonna read this. but if you do, don't tear,okay? :) and i miss you!
i shall be kind and not put memories sake of photos.haha.

It brought a smile on my face, knowing the good news.
At the same time, I wonder what I did to get so lucky-to deserve knowing you all.
And at least someone cared about us-I wonder who’s that angel.

Meanwhile, the 4 angels who came back today, thank you, couldn’t have done it without you guys! You guys are wonderful! Sorry for the trouble though =D<3

And the other 2 angels “passerby”, I haven’t seen you two in ages!misses! It’s been 716376872 years since we all are in the same place and at the same time…I kinda just realized it. What a... wonderful feeling.

I really don’t get it, aren’t we suppose to work together, as seniors? And use the same method? if we aren't on the same page, things are gonna take the turn for the worse. Can’t you bloody see that the "love" method doesn’t work cos THEY WILL TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT! Being the angel doesn’t help one bit in the long run. And I want them to come back to help, no matter what you think. Stop being soo protective of the juniors, they wouldn’t be grateful. I don’t think they will “accept” you-dream on. I am not trying to be cruel by playing the “bad guy” along with the others, just that the “bad guy” method works a lot better on them. But then again, you don’t get it, do you? And moreover, THEY(the 3 of em) COME BACK COS THEY CARE(you don’t see that do you?).gosh. Stop siding the juniors for goodness sake, you are suppose to be with us. I am pissed. Especially at you.

I shall do some deep thinking after my essays are due cos the essays are killing my brain cells. Not to mention the campfire.And stuff.

"when love and skill is put together, expect a masterpiece"
-John Ruskin

i couldn't have put it better myself. =D

I’ve been procrastinating for the past 2 days, watching devil beside you instead of doing response essay-which is soo damn difficult (but takes up 15% of our overall grade). Thank god it’s the last one-for English. Research is more or less done, concept map and the actual essay to go. There’s another 1.5K word essay for art. So the next time you see me, I think you can spot panda eyes. Burning the midnight oil till 5am again on Monday, yay for me!

The sec 3s are soo….ARGH! I have this overwhelming desire to make them suffer soo bad till they cry like babies. I swear .Their attitude everything seems to me like they haven’t suffered enough yet (probably cos all of them pon camp, that’s why). If they think the seniors are gonna tolerate them negotiating with us, they better think again. And they better suck it up cos we don’t owe them the world. How the freaking hell are they gonna to take over man? They make it seem like all the seniors who come back have all the time in the world, which is quite the opposite. And for a moment, they don’t think why we do. Haven’t those people learn anything yet? They’ve been to like tons of leadership camps and whatnot but I don’t see anything coming out from there. Every camp they go to is for fun, what a waste to send them there and what a waste of money. Bloody idiots. So every senior who come back for guides, please torture them, be my guest.

St. gabs campfire… was pretty not bad. HAHA. I came late again(blame it on Andreas.LOL). but the juniors were pretty enthu(a good change) and the games were all out sabo-ing, which is hehe time for us.HAHAHA. Yet, why did they have to play that song. OMG. Almost made me emo, you know. Andreas and I were looking at each other when the starting tunes of the song were played and we were like THAT song! OMG!OMG! then I sang along(couldn’t resist). But it did bring back memories, from last year’s st gabs campfire too…I shall leave you guessing what song was played.

3 more campfires to go…hopefully.
Mansjuri(which is on Saturday)
St.Andrews
Cat High.

5 down 2 to go(there goes my week)
overslept today so had to cab down to school(there goes my $8.50)

tomorrow will be walkathon/tee collection/the much anticipated st gabs cf aka will be out from 7am-11+pm.
sunday will be 5G's reunion BBQ-same place,same time as last year.

then i will be damn burnt out.

but here's the catch.
I need to finish up the presuasive essay by tues
do the eng journals 7-10
collate the campfire lyrics asap
do meeting mins
start on my art journal n essay
if i am not dead by then...then do the outline for response essay

lots of midnight oil to burn.

you know what?
take over the whole thing for all I care.
Since you want it soo much.
I wanna see how you will do it-alone.
and everything from the past few years had crumbled down to nothing.
so don't be in denial that everything is picture perfect.
the world doesn't work that way.

sheeh. doesn't the word pissed off mean anything to you?

DONT PUSH YOUR LUCK ANY FURTHER.
I am tolerating all these only for 2 people.

Strange how these few quotes(still) have that effect on me.
“With great powers comes great responsibility”
“What doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger”
“To be or not to be, that’s the question”

I sound like 1 half of a star crossed lovers reminiscing and yearning for the precious days she spent with her lover. XD

On some scale, it’s a very personal thing, on some scale, it’s okay to let everyone know. Well, for the next two days, it is the former. I don’t think anybody else cares about it anymore, so I will do the reminiscing myself. Either that or it becomes a rather sensitive topic to touch between us (how ironic isn’t it? Since it was the one that brought us together in the first place) .

Clinging on to that piece of glorified past, the piece that may look jagged on the outside but is absolutely beautiful on the inside, no matter how much time had pass. And those who made it beautiful wasn’t perfect themselves, but their spirit and souls brought this to a flawless finish. And my heart, in turn, has a soft spot for them. Nicknames like miaomiao and Gatsby boy…is oddly comforting. Chorus of Singapore town and hongdou, I’ll never forget.

I don’t think anyone of them will ever see this, I just need to rant on…how much I miss them, my crazy, courageous and passionate dreamers. You guys had taught me much about life and more. May the force be with you.

Btw, Zeus means King of all gods, Poiseidon means God of the sea…and Morrigan, I have no idea. God of the sea…I like. =)

Expository essay is so hard to write man, no inspirations so far, hopefully I can finish it by tomorrow. Next week is gonna to be damn busy man, like really busy.

The Apex carnival with the YAs yesterday was pretty good la, the usual group of YAs came and we kinda did the same things(like play around) for the next 5 hours or so. So these events are informally known as YAs bonding sessions.LOL. Everyone took bus home but Anna and I. Blame it on the fact that it was Saturday, the mrt was damn packed so we couldn’t rest our tired legs. Oh ya, I took the wrong train to Simei and ended up being extremely late.heh.Oh, was looking through the YA induction pictures just now…and found Adeline (Goh) and Eugenia. Lol

I think there will be a clash of ideals very soon, from the events that had been happening lately. The “competition” is going on red hot, with each order comes a triumph and the prize is power. Yet, is there a need for it? Will it be followed by ultimate respect? I just want to know how it will benefit them-on a long term basis and how it will end the vicious cycle. It’s not about us, anymore. think about it...you-know-who.

As a last resort, I am gonna to do “service learning” on my topic for expository essay since I can’t of anything else to write- we need to do cause and effect of a trend and explain how it comes about that kinda thing I guess.

And I got 49/50 for my descriptive essay.OMG. Can’t believe it la, back in balan’s days, I was lucky to even get a 40 or a 42, much less a 49. And it was yet again on DREAMS 5.hehe. For the past year, I guess I must have written at least 6 essays about it, usually narrative. Academic wise, it had really come in handy, even better when I know everything by heart :D

Oh yeah, I realized that the maths I am learning now is freaking Fmaths. From Emaths to Fmaths, from quite greek to alien greek. I will be happy with a C for my calculus gpa. And there is maths test tomorrow-kill me.

Need to do:
1. Expository essay
2. Persuasive essay
3. Art notebook
4. Journal 7 and 8

And I think my nickname for msn make it sound like I am in a relationship, seriously. It is like “PUTRI it follows you for a lifetime-o-n-e y-e-a-r anniversary<3”. What I REALLY mean is PUTRI (that’s my usual nick) it follows you for a lifetime (my dreams 5 experience la and Cheryl’s quote) o-n-e y-e-a-r anniversary (well…it’s exactly a year since PBP) and I totally love them. The(heavy) rain this morning made me soo emo la.

My mum and Stephy are going back to Jakarta tomorrow morning till the 19th of June so I am going to try to go to the 2 sleepovers if I can, secretly. Go first, tell later.LOL. Then there is the Apex thing, on Saturday morning (meet at 7:30am at Simei MRT*faint*), Monfort campfire on the 18th and St.Gabs Venture campfire on the 21st of June.

took this from jie's blog.

Welcome Putri Winata, here is your handwriting analysis.

Putri uses judgment to make decisions. She is ruled by her head, not her heart(lol.nah.the other way round). She is a cool, collected person who is usually unexpressive emotionally(WOW.lol.am i dao?). Some may see her as unemotional. She does have emotions but has no need to express them(s-o-m-e-t-i-m-e-s). She is withdrawn into herself and enjoys being alone(enjoy being alone,is correct).

The circumstances when Putri does express emotions include: extreme anger, extreme passion, and tremendous stress(HAHA.just as what tong weiyi said during the camp). If someone gets her mad enough to tell her off, she will not be sorry about it later. She puts a mark in her mind when someone angers her. She keeps track of these marks and when she hits that last mark she will let them know they have gone too far. She is ruled somewhat by self-interest(see...warn u all already). All her conclusions are made without outside emotional influence. She is very level-headed and will remain calm in an emergency situation. In a situation where other people might get hysterical, she has poise.

Putri will work more efficiently if given space and time to be alone. She would rather not be surrounded by people constantly(yet again, i have to admit,this is kinda true). In a relationship, she will show her love by the things she does rather than by the things she says(don't like NATO so rather go for this, true too). Saying "I love you" is not a needed routine because she feels her mate should already know. The only exception to this is if she has logically concluded that it is best for her mate to hear her express her love verbally.

Putri is not subject to emotional appeals(juniors...i warned u guys soo). If someone is selling a product to her, they will need to present only the facts. They should present them from a standpoint of her sound judgment. She will not be taken in by an emotional story about someone else. She will meet emergencies without getting hysterical and she will always ask "Is this best for me?"

Putri tends to write a bit smaller than the average person. When a person's letters are small and tiny, this indicates an ability to focus and concentrate. This character trait is a huge asset in careers like math, science, race car driving, and flying planes. However, if Putri writes tiny all of the time, she will also display characteristics of someone who is socially introverted. Putri will often sit on the sideline and watch others get the attention at parties. she might be willing to open up and be warm, but only in small groups or a select group of people(yeah...this is true). When she is busy working on a project, it is common for all other noises and distractions to just fade away and her ability to focus is incredible. When she says "she didn't hear you", she really means, she didn't hear you(I guess this too?).

When Putri expresses an opinion on a issue she will stick to that opinion, and probably will not change her mind. In other words... Putri is stubborn. When she is wrong about something that she has decided upon, she will have trouble admitting she is wrong. Changing Putri's mind can be very difficult. Once Putri makes up her mind, she doesn't want to be confused with the facts(bingo!)!

Putri will be candid and direct when expressing her opinion. She will tell them what she thinks if they ask for it, whether they like it or not. So, if they don't really want her opinion, don't ask for it!

Diplomacy is one of Putri's best attributes. She has the ability to say what others want to hear. She can have tact with others. She has the ability to state things in such a way as to not offend someone else. Putri can disagree without being disagreeable(maybe,sometimes).

Because Putri has zigzagged shaped 'm' and 'n' hump, Putri is an analytical thinker. Her mind sifts and examines facts. She interprets all facts by separating them, breaking them down, and organizing them from a critical point of view. This pattern of clarifying facts contributes to her strong reasoning ability. Putri's mind is constantly analyzing all situations that she encounters(yup!bullseye!).

Putri is a practical person whose goals are planned, practical, and down to earth(nah...so not me, the planned and practical part). This is typical of people with normal healthy self-esteem. She needs to visualize the end of a project before she starts. she finds joy in anticipation and planning. Notice that I said she plans everything she is going to do, that doesn't necessarily mean things go as planned. Putri basically feels good about herself. She has a positive self-esteem which contributes to her success. She feels she has the ability to achieve anything she sets her mind to. However, she sets her goals using practicality-- not too "out of reach". She has enough self-confidence to leave a bad situation, yet, she will not take great risks, as they relate to her goals. A good esteem is one key to a happy life. Although there is room for improvement in the confidence catagery, her self-perception is better than average.

Putri is very self-sufficient. She is trying not to need anyone. She is capable of making it on her own(haha.guides). She probably wants and enjoys people, but she doesn't "need" them. She can be a loner(yeah...see..I CAN.but i don't.LOL).

For a graphologist, the spacing on the page reflects the writer's attitude toward their own world and relationship to things in his or her own space. If the inputted data was correct Putri has left lots of white space on the right side of the paper. Putri fills up the rest of the page in a normal fashion. If this is true, then Putri has an unhealthy relationship to the past and has a fear of moving forward. The right side of the page represents the future and Putri seems unwilling to face the fear of getting started living now and planning for the future. Putri seems to be clinging to past events and spending lots of time thinking about what happened(oh man,are they talking about dreams 5?if they are, then....bingo!). It would be best to leave the past behind and move on(i will try to, it takes time). Stop crowding that left margin.






4:20am

sending camp and hike pictures to my fellow YAs.
wonder if I can add in the honourary ones.
those who get auto inclusion in guides camps even though they are not YAs.
thats why I call them the honouary YAs.

I just realised how powerful chemistry between people is...

3 more days and it will be a year.
WHAT? a year? where did time go? but we’ve come a long way since then.

My subconscious is counting down the days(so is the weather, it seems). And sometimes, when I get emo and the weather gets emo with me(heavy pouring rain), I find myself missing them.

Oh yes, I just realize, the number 5 and I, hen you yuan fen.

These few days really have been busy rushing guides and school work. Wednesday was the record high. Edith and I were supposed to go shopping at Orchard but ended up not even stepping into Orchard.

Our initial plan was to meet at Paya Lebar after my school ends to find out the price for the mfgg t-shirts then go to Orchard to eat and shop. But we ended up staying at the t-shirt shop for quite a few hours and waited for Andreas for another 4 hours(cos she have the money.LOL) to go down and pay the deposit after she finish work. After that we went down to AMK Central Mac for campfire meeting with Aishah till 11:50pm. Reached home at around 12:15am, got scolded by my mum cos first time reached home so late.

Edith Chua Qin Shi was pretty awesome, she managed to bargain with the vendor till our tees were $14(the ones without the words “leaders”). Cos initially it was $16 so she saved us like $100. Thank god I drag her along man. We spent soo much time at the shop(which is like at a super old and ulu building) because we had to find the logos, resize the design, find the fonts(for the words), find the colour scheme for the words(what shade of red etc) and all that kind of stuff. Never knew it was so mafan la. Better start appreciating the people who went and order the tees for the past guides, camps and dreams tees. So seriously, 1 person is not enough. Must have at least 3 people to go and order it. Going back on the 21st with Andreas to collect the tees :D

And we spent like 4 hours at the Singpost plaza eating, talking, camwhoring, shopping, crapping and stoning. We made interesting discoveries when we were crapping, don’t know what we talking about, can talk for 4 hours. Then at Mcd, still got more things to talk about with Andreas, but mainly is guides stuff la. Oh ya, on the bus we were still talking about everything in random.

Sorry,Edith! I owe u 1 shopping trip and 1 movie trip! And pics please!<3

Finished the 1st part of my IS233 Assignment, kill me on the 2nd part please cos I have no idea what to do. And I still have load of things to do, last count was 9.

Now my rojak mix is English, Bahasa Indonesia and Chinese, in school. Sadly, no more Singlish.But on the bright side, those 3 guys (Kevin, Vachry and Jason) can help me improve my Bahasa. And they kinda love to torment me, sms sent in a rojak of bahasa and english, so I have to spend like 1 min figuring the sms out.lol.

St.gabs campfire/MFGG Alumni gathering. So seniors from whatever batch,must come!
21st June 2008,7pm :D



I'm in computer class now...but i feel like sleeping.

slept for 6 hours for the past 62 hours(Friday afternoon to Sunday Afternoon).
4 hours on Friday and 2 hours on Saturday.
and I pon my tution this morning-not on purpose.

Thanks

Andreas
Peiwen
Jie(ying)
Edith
Adeline
Feather
Addie
Tong Weiyi
Leng Weiyi
Vivien Lai
Nurul
Da
Peckhui
Caier
Belle
Gatsby Boy(for dropping by and helping me with the shields)
Yingjie(for dropping by and helping me with the shields)

for your help these past 3 days =D

will type a more detailed entry when I get my laptop back.