Mum is driving me nuts these few days, it’s like she scolds me over every LITTLE THING and she don’t want to give me my pocket money and pay my school fees cos she said that she haven’t have that “talk” with me. Her scolding also involves insulting of guides, it’s like she says that I have AP(attitude problem) because of what I learnt in guides(or somewhere along that line). Not going out with her means that I don’t respect her, in her eyes. It is like so ridiculous la, the scolding and everything else. And I happen to NEED my textbooks, god.

Part of the “talk”, more like lecturing to me and trying to get the PC(politically correct) answers out of me involves me writing me how much(of a percentage) is guides, school and playing on the internet/computer important to me and the purpose of doing them. School is fine, the rest is like WHAT? I mean, I can’t explain guides to anyone(unless the “anyone” is also in a UG then it’s fine), much less state it’s purpose. There are no whys and purposes of me being in guides, it’s just passion, plain and simple. And what else do you do when you are on the internet, do research, chat, some discuss things on MSN, right? Oh yes, and she’s saying that my tution teachers are complaining that I am not doing their homework. FYI: I have school and tution homework and the occasional guides stuff, I am not a robot, you know? I HAPPEN TO NEED A LIFE! She’s beginning to sound like doris lim man. And my outside tution teacher is asking me(expecting, rather) to not go out anymore and do maths everyday, also when I tell her that I have school everyday(morning and afternoon classes), she said “Huh, then how to do maths?”, I don’t know, you tell me.

Speaking of doris lim, she kept mine's,addie's and dennis's dreams certificate with her, cos the scouts and lianyi got theirs already. if she's keeping it cos of the "scandal", to make sure that addie and I have to see the smirk in her eyes to get it, then I think it's downright petty cos dreams5 and that are 2 different things that happened a year apart, for god sake.

And I wrote school 70% important, guides 25% and internet 5%, that’s the PC answer, of course, if I have it my way, it would be school 50%, guides 45% and internet 5%. My mum loves to attack guides and dreams5, if my schoolwork is not good, it’s their fault, if I have AP in her eyes, it’s also their fault. I mean, wtf la. You can't go around insulting things you never in your life tried before, that's just so wrong.

She had been opposing guides since the moment I entered the committee, I remember when I had COH on Saturdays morning at the Guides HQ, she was not happy, because “ I will wake up at 7:30am for them but not for her”, also when Edith and I were up at night doing proposals and things like that, she will be like “stop playing on the internet la, go to sleep!”. Also, when I used to go back to MFSS for meetings, she will be “do you really need to go back every week, can’t they survive without you?” and for other school’s campfires, she will be like “It’s not MF’s campfire, so why is there a need for you?” For Nat camp appreciation dinner, she was like “can’t you not go?”, my reply was “no, my name is already there.” And she didn’t even send me off for DREAMS 5, my family was in Bali.I mean, it’s soo ARGHHHHHHHHHH!!!! So much for supportive family, the only thing they are is getting in the way of my dreams, they are my every difficult obstacles and the last people I will look for support. Cos if you haven’t been supportive from the beginning, I don’t see why I should let you in when I "made it".

In the end of the day, it’s about giving up guides and doing what she wants,right?

Tough luck, that will NEVER HAPPEN.

If she’s happy with me joining SC, I am soo gonna screw up the interview and join YAC.

I’ve learnt not to do things on logic, because if I have done things on logic, DREAMS 5 would never had happened, and so far, it’s the best thing that had happened to me in a long while.

I am ranting but I can’t control my anger anymore, and I do not get angry easily, that’s how much she agitates me by touching guides and dreams5.