tomorrow is the maths Os paper and since i've been rushing out projects/studying for "mid-term" tests, i'm feeling very unprepared.AND there are still a maths assignment and philosophy journals to rush before paper 2.

1 word: DEAD!

i need a holiday, i'm in no state of mind to study now.ironically enough, the only time i can study is when i'm watching my drama series at the same time-last 6 episodes!!

my laptop went crazy again, couldn't log back inside after stephanie used it yesterday-remind me to make a password reset key and back ALL my data up in some disc if i can log back inside next time(i really really hope they can repair it).but it's at the sony service center now.can only get back next week....lucky i didn't do most of my philosophy journals yet.

on the brighter note...
i'm soo addicted to "fated to love you"!so gonna buy the DVD =D
and MINDS thing on the 1st of nov!

just got back from island creamery........ice cream heaven.
anw....a really freaky thing happened just now on my way back home.
cos i bought the taiwan streetsnack store that fried chicken thing and when i got home...
THERE WERE THESE BIG FLYING BLACK ANTS IN MY BAG!!!!
and they were IN my papers,jacket and books.

EWWWW!!! so freaked out okay.....
now i am NEVER putting hot food in my bag.

school is tiring, we have tests like literally everyday, and that means staying up till 3-4am to study for it.

interpersonal tomorrow, economics on friday.please kill me.
and and and the Os maths paper 1 clashes with the due date of my economics project.how wonderful.

what if i said i just want us to stuck somewhere and for some amount of time, we are stuck with each other so we have no choice but to talk?

we don't see each other enough, my dear mf people, since we all graduated and went somewhere, be it poly/jc/ite/anywhere else.and we don't talk enough too. we see each other at events and that's about it. on good days, i pretend i dont miss mf at all, on bad days, its sucks like hell. those 5 years of my life there had been very precious, as i come to realize now. the juniors.the gazillion guides events i wouldn't trade anything for.the school-god, i miss the school. going back for campfires on that basketball court just makes me feel home.the friends i made-after sec school, friends as geninue and real as the ones i made in mf are virtually non-existent which makes me feel incredibly lonely. i don't know how those 8 looong periods in class, why did i take them for granted?sleeping in class, with the hot sun shining on us, the cool rain coming in, the torturous pe session in the hot sun-with awesome mr kwek yelling at us to keep it up. being stuck with 5G for 10 long hours. i secretly like mf at night, it's just soo peaceful and it has that sense of security too.i can name a million more events, some small, some big, yet all significent.

technology does helps, but its not the same. msn.e-mails.phone conversations.sometimes it feels soo fake you know. what i would give to see u all face to face again.

that's why, if i were to be stuck somewhere and there is no way to get back-maybe till morning or till someone comes and save us, i would want it to be with my mf people. dreams5.class.guides. people from either one of those categories, doesn't matter.we really don't see each other enough after we graduated.and for some of you, i feel, i am not done yet. and i feel that i didn't have enough time to say goodbye. that graduation day, it just wasn't enough and at that time, it didn't hit me yet. now, it just did. 10 months after everything is over.

i know i am evil in saying that i don't give a darn about the people in my school now, but i really don't, because, i think, they haven't changed my life the way you guys did. guides saved me more times than i can remember, it kept me sane. dreams 5, i am speechless, i still can't find the words for it. 1F-5G, they are the reason why i keep coming to class. now i know the difference between the class that loved you and whom you loved back-they may be a majority of guys, but you know, in a heartbeat, that they will protect you and the class that's just not united at all.

i guess, what i am saying is, i miss you guys and we need to talk. about the past, present and maybe future.and thank you for being there.

onetreehill is getting to me man. that show is making me feel soo emotional.but since it is making me write from my heart, shouldn't be a bad thing. i haven't done this in ages.writing poems too.

a friend also once said " you looked soo happy in that photograph", that photograph is the photograph you see in mf's hall right now. then i wonder, how has become of that girl?where did she go?i want her back.

Been really busy with school lately, didn't really get a chance to sleep much cos been studying for tests(and one tree hill marathon at home!!!!!!-fran borrowed the dvd from her friend).

just wondering...
if the one who holds the power is the one who cares the least(or at least seem to), then no wonder its easier to behave that way and no wonder we are always chasing after people who behave in that way.

Anyway, don't know what am I rambling about, feeling kind of lost right now, you know? school isn't exactly what it used to be, no 20 boys to look forward to tease/bully me all day, no letting my guard down in school, no mr ong,selva,ess,yong,balan and guides isn't any easier either, with all that drama. to be frank, in the last couple of months, my sanuctary had turned into a nightmare.but i don't know how to survive without it.

I have no idea where i am headed to, all i know is i got to find my way back or at least find a place where I know what I want and i think i have been snapping at people this past week cos of the lost-ness.

I guess, I need to find home, somehow.

and..i miss them.what's new?

andreas's sms this morning made my day.the best news since clue 10's campfire. :) i am a happy girl. but a happy girl with tons to do...

here comes...THE LIST.

1. Philosophy journals-journal checking on monday.
2.Interpersonal communication journals-dued 9th oct(when jay chou's album is coming out, coincidently)
3.Maths-STUDY!
4.Economics-quiz next fri
5.Philosophy-quiz next tues.

got to wake up at 7am tomorrow, go to be at the NTUC center(I don't even know how to go there.shitte!)by 8:30 then YA branch meeting at 12noon.but its 3:00am and i am still not asleep...

in the grand scheme of things, i'm not sure whether going back does help, sure, they keep saying " you guys are the experts" but body language says otherwise. I guess the bottom line is, unless they can guaranteed that "it" wouldn't happen again and our blood,sweat and tears(and time) is appreciated, the chances of us being back is way low. so, what do you do? watch the carriage burn away or save it in the nick of time?

the "misadventure of politics" ...i get caught in it way too many times.

enough ranting about it. but damn, it still shows that i still care, as i learn in class.

bad hair(and skin)days for these past 2 days :( feeling very uncomfortable man.
anw...i didn't get into SC.and my interpersonal communication teacher was from MCS.yes, you read right, she was from my dearest MCS, out of all the primary schools in the country.HAHA.wonder which year she graduated in...