Saturday, July 25, 2009
2:39 AM
i should really be asleep now, its 2:39am. either that...or doing proper studying, like finishing up my bio notes.
i have exams starting next tuesday and all i can think about its doomsday later. history, modernization, lit and bio somehow faded into the background. thus i can't concentrate. i am writing the notes down but nothing gets inside my brain.ARGH!
i know when i think of pain, i think of dreams5 at the same time. maybe cos it heals me a little, maybe also not to allow myself run away from it despite the incredible temptation.
and i've been thinking about the time melvin jz took my backpack and handed me his haversack in that torrential pouring rain at the pier. because i've been too incredible stubborn to not allow anyone to help me for the past 8 days. that image somehow can't be easily forgotten. also, what lionel wrote in my book.and sometimes, i do miss dreams5 cos of it.the amazing way they can see through things.
MDM NG IS BACK!!! OPEN UP THE CHAMPAGNE PEOPLE!!! her being back is like a soild rock i can rely on. a guider that have seen me grow up, a guider i can ask for advice and a guider i can look up to. that feeling is great! she is jz as caring as ever, asking about Andreas[haha.reading this Andreas?], school and UH. i think she is both proud and suprised that i am back as MF UH's.
come to think of it. lots of things had happened in the past 7 years. ms yee left,mdm ng got married, ms ng left, ms tang and ho came onboard and mdm ng had a baby.OMG! you know you are old when you seen your guider date, got married and have a kid.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
3:15 AM
i jz got reminded awhile ago...
Fred's "Be tolerant of Lester Sir"
HAHAHAHAHAH.i remembered how funny that was. and his epic classic RICE!! that was super hilarous too.
and Dennis's "To live without technology for the expedition".LMAO.everyone say, "yeah right".HAHAHA.
and firefighter melvin's "MARIA"!
nvm. inside jokes.
I guess not really funny to the people reading this, jz trying to make myself happy....
if you get it, then i guess you are a dreamer, if you don't...ahh...i've got nothing to say.
"what doesn't kills you, only makes you stronger"
"we cannot do big things, but we can do small things with big heart"
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
10:05 PM
Mood been pretty bad these few days. mostly cos of the korea thing that is happening......
i know its partially my fault for not telling them earlier but partially i am stuck in the middle too. i can't do anything about the school policy nor do i have the power to change the camp/exam dates[i wish i wish]. the only solution i see now is going off after my paper. the thing is, will GGS give in and let me go?
sorry YA peeps, been complaining to you guys about these, feel really bad about it. i guess i jz need someone to talk to and see it from my POV.cos i swear they can't.
like the meeting on saturday, they will be holding it at 1:30pm. guess what? my YA survival adventure ends at 2pm. i guess they didn't think about it. whatever la. its getting tiring already.
its study week now, but i haven't really done much studying.been relaxing and trying to solve that thing.
watched harry potter-twice! the 1st time was with kamini and chu ying at Ilumia and the 2nd time was with my whole bunch of classmates at The Cathay. the movie was soso lor. At the end, i though the movie was only halfway through....
anw, i hope i will be able to hang out with hawa, angeline, shikin and val after the meeting on saturday. really have to pray on that since mum is coming down too...haha.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
9:53 PM
As with every expedition, i ask myself this question...
how much of it is worth scarificing?
how much am i willing to scarifice?
this time round, the answers to these two questions are questionable. because those 2 elements are always always decided by
my team mates. how bonded am I to them and that team spirit that is pretty evident in dreams5,the MINDS camp and the most recent, GGS Carnival. for the first time, i don't feel one with the team.
do we need to spend countless hours practicing singapore town to achieve that? i guess so.
this came to me on saturday's meeting, when my heart was with the YAs upstairs eating mrs peter's lunch instead of with the brownies, yanling and teachers downstairs. i did the tent-pitching, singing and dancing half-heartedly. when it should have been a happy affair,it became a chore.
yes, its the
right thing, whatever it is, to be downstairs instead upstairs. BUT i think when its done half-heartedly, it becomes pointless. i can tell you what happen after the meeting more than what went on during the meeting....
and...i finally knew what xueying was trying to tell me during the last day of camp, during tent-pitching.
finally, for korea, am i willingly to scarifice my own guides meeting, exams and my gangshow?
Friday, July 03, 2009
4:29 AM
dear xinyi,
it took awhile, but here's the 1000 words essay that i owed you since last year.LOL. i will try to write as much as possible tonight :) haha. i hope this is a good present to end off your mid-years :)
okay, lets start. i think the reason why we are such good friends had partially got to do with how we met. if i remember correctly, i think it was during 1 of those morning assemblies in the hall-when it was raining cats and dogs-mid-july, august period i think? haha.and since our "love letters" are always handwritten, this feels kind of weird, typing a letter here, for the world to see. anw, back to how we met. and to a certain extend, when we met, cos i think it plays a crucial role too. looking back, i feel we've both caught each other at our most vulnerable period, and we both happen to know our sources of "indescribable feelings"[HAHAHA.do i need to say it out loud? i think you know la hor]. thus, as a result, we became fast friends.
haha.or it may be more than that. i guess you understand why its such a pain yet at the same time, such a treasure. also, the "you-have-to-be-there-to-feel-it" moments. and during that time, that helps alot. and you kept me updated[on.......]. and sneak me into yj to cheer me up after the horrendous Os results. for that, thanks! haha.and i guess, you've made my last year of school memorable, with all the stuff that we did, the most infamous[or was it famous?] being the kbcc 3rd floor toilet, man, that was hilarous. i can't believe we actually COUNTED.lmao. instead of studying, we were doing that.LOL.
which also reminds me of graduation day.OMG! can't believe you sabo-ed me on that day lor[do you remember what you did?HAHA]. it was incredibly peiseh. but i think we had the "now or never" mindset on that day. and we didn't go emo[wow!! or did we? i kind of forgot]. was it to get back to what i did to you for national day celebrations 07? haha. 2 years on, i think xinyi[the sjab one] and i still think its for your own good.LOL.am i talking in "codes" right now? if yes, good. and then, "no reservations" on your birthday 2 years back,haha, thanks for that too.
also, for the letters of encouragment during those months.you know something? i haven't written a letter since i graduated from mf! haha. seeing that we wrote on a daily basis, its hard to believe,right? haha. a proof that lessons were soo boring that we had to write to keep ourselves awake[ahh...this is why i fall asleep in class nowadays.haha]. i don't know man, i think i get quite nostalgic when i am with you, because we will end up talking and analysing the past. sometimes, dreaming about the future. haha.and laughing at the present. laughing at the present cos of that mouse/rat/policemen story you told me at the library during the Os study week. oh!!!! and the thing that you and momo did with my phone during the Os study week too.haha.i can still remember the look on your faces 2 years later, soo funny!haha.see la. told you she wouldn't believe its me and still send.HAHAHA. even though i know its not on purpose.
also, you know most of my close friends, kamini, shiyama, edith, jie,hidayah and of course my dreams mates which helps. haha.since jie and hidayah worked at guardian, we saw them almost everytime we went to kbcc to study.and which dreams mates i am referring to, you should know la hor. haha. i guess you know why i am soo protective of them even to this day.haha.you do,right? and since you are one of my poor victims of hearing the almost full version of the expedition, i still remember that you and kamini wanted to name my son "padang" or something like that.LOL. looking back, it IS funny. though i don't remember the exact joke. though i will never say this, but i miss your teasing man! haha.but now, can't tease about that liao, too old le. ah yes, reminded me of "MARIA"!! lol, the way you said it when i wanted to get the song was funny[or maybe i was too happy to know that you had that song in the first place =) ].
btw, how long have it been since we met up? 6 months? i remember the last time was ECP and then cycling to bedok jetty. and i need to update you on tons of stuff!haha. i think you need to update me on quite a number of things too.LOL.
coming on to this. the inevitable list of "things-i-miss-about-you". i seriously do miss hanging out with you. maybe cos as we grow older, the harder it is for people to become genuine friends. and all those chats/talks about life/fate/destiny/others....Also, i dont have people dropping by my class with letters anymore!!! Secondary school drama, was well, drama, but at least it bonded people closer and faster together. haha.you don't get that in uni, cos all people want to do is act...cool. what i mean is that, you don't get to see the human side of them, they are always put-together , kiasu and happy-go-lucky.haha.never of more than 1 emotion.
do you remember the long walks around the estates at the kbcc area that we took?haha. i miss that too. with or without bicycles doesn't matter. i guess our trips to east coast park kinda replaced that. and this reminds me....i miss not seeing you everyday.haha. yea. those little small stuff....like HONEY STARS!!!HAHAHA. had fun teasing me about it eh?it was a totally coincidence, i swear.
Anyway, if you don't understand some of the above codes, ask me.lol. i will refresh your memories.lol.and...TAKE CARE!DON'T OVERWORK YOURSELF!
did i hit a 1000? i don't think so leh....800-900, give or take...
Putri